Growing like a wisdom tooth

I finished Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist yesterday. I started reading it around the first week of this year and reading it for the third time feels different because I seem to understand it more. I picked it up again because around Christmas time a friend complimented me saying that I was pursuing my Personal Legend. I forgot about what that meant and I was basically in a state of confusion or as I'd like to call it, in my "quarter life" crisis, so I reread the book. SPOILER ALERT. Apparently, we are all alchemists, that is if we are pursuing our Personal Legends. The back cover simplifies it all, "To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation." I used to think that the most important line for this book is, "When you want something all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.", but now, it's like the whole text is important because it applies to everyone. When the alchemist in the story mentioned that all things are one because we all were written by one hand, that made actual sense when I came across a video in my Facebook newsfeed. According to it, MIT engineers concluded that the strength of an object is determined by its geometrical configuration as opposed to its material. That applies to us! The strength of a persons is determined by his responses to the circumstances/events surrounding him and not by his physical appearance nor by the content of his birth certificate. How bizarre. SPOILER ENDS HERE. The book is really wonderful. I will read it again someday. I asked my dad if there was a novel that he read many times and he said that there wasn't. I think I will be reading this one over and over again.

It's pretty strange that I'm on hiatus right now, because my way of doing it is not letting everybody or a lot of people know that I stopped going to law school. Maybe people know. I'm not sure, in any case, nobody seems to be bothering me to go and hang out, save for the closest ones I know. I like this detachment from them. It gives me time to think and not be influenced by their judgment or be pressured by my perception of their judgment. Social media has also been both a boon and a bane because it keeps me updated but for its lack of filter, I even have to digest the unnecessary information which is time-consuming and sometimes distressing. I'm keeping this MIA status until after I get back to studying.

The sinkhole really happens when I'm thinking about studying back. After my intensive (yaaas), first semester I'm proud to say that I picked up a few great things like reading faster and understanding better what I read, amongst other things. I am a soft copy novel hoarder you see, but I never really finish reading them and law school is absolutely draining. Personally, I can't make time for leisure reading as I did before. I figured, this gap semester is a perfect time to read those. Speaking of reading, Edgar Allan Poe is really weird. Anyway, with the rush of finding an online job during the holidays, I was blessed with an online content writing one. I haven't been paid but with the rate of my submissions, it's not as generously paying as I calculated it to be. What I do love about my job hunting methods is that I choose what I seem to already know or feel confident that I can do. Haha Well that's how it's supposed to work. I'm writing about architecture, interior design, and home improvement which are quite ironic with my own living situation. I also chose this one because like the awesome Atty. Karen Jimeno who writes an automotive column regularly, I'm an aspiring lawyer who writes about architecture, interior design, and home improvement. Since I'm not entirely obsessed about earning from this job, I do wonder if how my experience writing on those topics would help me later on. I mean sure, domestically, I would have the know how, but will that help me in pursuing my Personal Legend? In fact, I'm not so sure even if what my Personal Legend is.

I wanted to insert here an image bulleting facts about The Alchemist author, Paulo Coelho, but I'm too lazy to fix this Google+ cookie issue so I'll just write about it. It listed that Paulo Coelho dropped out of law school and that he has always known that his Personal Legend is to be a writer. Wow, is that an omen for me or what?

Right now, I'm basking in the realization that the things I learned and chose to do in the past were driving me to become a lawyer. But then, I've also been set back many times from becoming a lawyer. Failed twice the LAE. Failed two of my law school subjects in my first semester and first year. (Maybe even more pending the appearance of the other grades). Actually, this other part of me tells me that I'm just not meant to study law in Manila. As to whether I am meant to study law anywhere else. It does not say. Now, why should I pursue it? What moves me? One is that I want to be respected for what I know automatically. Seriously, I hate it when people just brush off respect and treat me like I have no idea about the world because I'm small, not a head turner, and hasn't really established a name for myself. I really want to be respected. Why do I want to be respected? It doesn't come easy. What then will I do if I gained most people's respect? Do things to help educate other people at least to the level where they can decide to pursue their Personal Legend, because it's absolutely wonderful to have a population diversely good at something-let me leap on logic-then we can respect each other.

Am I willing to go back to the rigors of law school, learn a lot of dated and sexist laws, sacrifice my self-proclaimed artist and freedom-loving soul, argue against hard-headed people, and earn less than how much my brain works? Ummmmm........Let's earn for the month of January first.

Hey I discovered last night my wisdom tooth! It grew far back and on the wrong side. It doesn't hurt though. Wow. I'm like my own wisdom tooth right now, finding myself on the wrong side.